Tuesday, June 10, 2014
GratiTuesday - Stickin' Together
Eleven years ago Saturday my husband and I said "I do."
A lot has changed in those eleven years.
Some of those things are good, and some ... not so much. We're both a bit rounder, a bit grayer, and hopefully a bit wiser.
We understand more about what it takes to spend your life with someone else.
There's no turning back or getting out. We're in it for the long haul. We decided to strike that deadly "D" word from our vocabulary before we said our vows.
That's reassuring. We're committed. Our culture has forgotten the value in that, but we're not giving up on each other. We're determined not to "grow apart," but to "grow together."
I don't say this because things are particularly hard right now - they're not. On the contrary, it feels good to know that we're on the same page. That we have the same purpose. That our changes are okay because we're doing it all together.
Eleven years ago I would've wanted some sort of romantic evening. Something with candles and sunsets and sweet, whispered words.
Except now I know that those aren't my thing, and they're not my husband's, either. We talked about what to do. Fancy dinner? A movie? Shopping? Nothing seemed quite right. Neither of us were thrilled with any of those ideas.
So we chose a baseball game.
A baseball game was perfect. We had a quick snack at a favorite Mexican restaurant just outside the stadium before hurrying in to see the opening pitch. The weather was perfect - pleasingly cool with a light breeze, under a blue sky and puffy white clouds. We had great seats along the first baseline, my husband's favorite, and he was happy to explain a few rare plays to me. I was happy to sit and listen to his voice. We watched several double plays, a trick play, and our hometown team finally win. We talked throughout the game, about nothing special, really, just enjoyed being together.
Afterwards we walked to a restaurant with outdoor seating near a small waterfall and ate a late-night snack under the stars and some white Christmas lights. We walked around hand-in-hand and then headed back home.
It wasn't a fancy evening. It wasn't a quiet evening, or even a kid-free one, since the couple sitting in front of us at the game had a few rowdy preschoolers.
But it was perfect for us. Together. The New Us. The older-and-wiser us. We were both willing to throw out ideas and talk them over until we found the perfect thing. Until we realized that what we really wanted was to be together.
Not stressing about the cost of a fancy dinner.
Not eating in a restaurant that was too loud to converse comfortably.
Not sitting side-by-side in a dark movie theater, each alone in our movie experience.
Together. Being loud and silly, clapping and cheering ourselves hoarse and ... together.
It's not always easy to find your 'together,' but it's definitely worth the effort to find it.
And then, as it evolves and changes and you find it again, to enjoy the ride.
What's your 'together?'
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