Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. ~Ephesians 4:29
When my husband and I got married, we determined to say only positive things about each other to other people. My husband is naturally good at this - I had to work on it a bit.
While I love him very much, at first I found it too easy to be caught up in someone else's complaint. Anything said in sympathy, even if not meant to be negative, sounded negative. I've had to work at these types of conversation - and still do.
What keeps coming to my attention, though, is interrupted stories. I like stories. My friends like stories. Even with family, we tell stories - but we get interrupted. Then a story that began with how I wanted things one way but he had a different idea - and his idea turned out to be so much better - ends up sounding as if I'm irritated and we fought. Completely not the case.
I never seem to notice how awful these things sound until later. I don't intend for it to be this way; my goal is to show what a good planner and smart man he is, but I'm afraid that it doesn't come out that way.
So, for now, I have a new goal: no more my-husband-is-so-smart stories. I just don't seem to tell them very well.
Instead, I'm concentrating on straight-up compliments. Not a strong suit of mine, especially to or about adults, but my husband thrives on them. They are totally his love language.
So, to start us out on the right foot, here are a few:
My husband is very strong! (I couldn't resist! :-) )
He happily indulged my desire for pictures of Creation on our Creeper Trail ride and explored this area of the river with me. He even pointed it out.
I love his adventurous, daring spirit!
He protected me from the snake - and then watched out for more the rest of the day.
He's very generous. He took me out to a restaurant I've been wanting to try, sat outside in the heat with me to watch the Bulls' play, and even bought an appetizer - my favorite part of a meal!
Need I say more?? ;-)
Is anybody with me? Anybody else determined, not only to avoid negative words about your husbands, but to avoid potentially sticky situations; ready to commit flat-out to all positive, encouraging statements ONLY, whether to your husband, your friends, in his earshot or out of it?
If we want our men to lead us as a family, we must let them know that they have our full support, love, and respect. I want to commit to that fully.
Are you with me?